Hey Coleen,
Several months back, I was unfaithful to my boyfriend who lives far away. I kissed a guy at a club and stayed next to him for the night, but there was no sexual involvement.
Shortly after, feeling panicked, I confessed my actions to my boyfriend, resulting in him breaking up with me.
I am puzzled as to why I revealed the incident when it wasn’t significant. I kissed the other guy out of loneliness and longing for my ex, who is away at university. I regret my actions deeply.
Since June, I haven’t seen my ex, and he has been unresponsive to my messages. He won’t return until October.
I am struggling to come to terms with my mistake and wish I could turn back time to erase it all. Despite reassurances from friends that I will move on, I still harbor strong feelings for my ex.
I am as devoted to him as ever and desire to reconcile with him, though I fear it might be too late.
I am convinced he is my soulmate. How can I overcome this if it’s truly the end?
Coleen’s Advice:
Firstly, be kinder to yourself. You are young, and mistakes happen. You were honest with your ex, which shows integrity.
Perhaps this incident indicates that the long-distance relationship was challenging. Being apart is tough, especially at your age, where social circles and activities play a significant role. Managing a long-distance relationship may be too demanding for you at this stage.
You could suggest meeting up with him when he returns to gauge your feelings, but maintaining an exclusive relationship while far apart might be unrealistic and stressful.
If the relationship has truly ended, know that, from personal experience, you will heal and move forward. It takes time, so go out with friends, enjoy life, and one day, you’ll wake up realizing you’ve moved on. Best of luck.