On a snowy November day, my daughter Kit and I were dividing four boxes of tree ornaments, each claiming their share. Kit, now living independently, was eager to set up her own Christmas tree. Unpacking the decorations evoked a wave of emotions for me, as it meant confronting years of loss and sorrow for the children who were no longer part of our holiday celebrations.
Over the span of eight years, our family fluctuated as we welcomed and said goodbye to 23 foster children. While most stays were temporary, our two children eventually joined our family through adoption. It surprised me that Kit remembered the stories behind each handmade ornament, even those crafted by individuals she never met. It was a revelation to realize that her holiday recollections differed significantly from mine.
As I uncovered a tree topper received during our first Christmas as a newly married couple, memories flooded back. Tracing the crack on the angel figurine with my fingers, held together by Krazy Glue, reminded me of the fragility of our marriage. Passing the angel to Kit, unsure if she would want it due to its delicate state, I was met with her bright eyes gleaming beneath a festive reindeer hat.
Recalling how Kit always aspired to be tall enough to place the angel atop the tree, we shared a moment of laughter. It was decided then that the angel would accompany Kit on her tree. Opening another tin, I uncovered a Santa sleigh and reindeer ornament crafted by an eight-year-old boy we fostered. The mixture of grief and anger resurfaced as memories of his departure lingered.
Sensing my shift in mood, Kit took the Santa decoration from my hands, recounting how I used to place it lower on the tree so she could play with it. Reflecting on the elaborate design, she likened it to scenes from a favorite movie, bonding over shared memories with our foster children.
Ensuring inclusivity and warmth during the holidays for our foster children was a priority for my former husband, our parents, and me. We adjusted our Christmas celebrations to allow the children time with their families, gifting each unique ornaments to adorn the tree or keep as mementos. This thoughtful gesture led to the Santa and reindeer ornament finding a place among my cherished decorations.
Unveiling a reindeer ornament made of pompoms, ribbon, and googly eyes, memories of my son’s playful nickname for it resurfaced. Recalling the past division of ornaments during a previous separation, I marveled at the enduring significance of these decorations in our lives.
Kit’s poignant words about Rudolph’s presence regardless of where she spent Christmas struck a chord, revealing lessons learned from our past struggles. As we prepare to decorate the tree this year, I anticipate a shift in perspective, with Kit’s joyful spirit overshadowing any lingering sorrow associated with the ornaments. I eagerly await the unveiling of her own tree, brimming with her narrative and memories.
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